he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
