the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They have beer where we have blood.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
