Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
