Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
