I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
