I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
