I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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