Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
