You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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