you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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