if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
