I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
