A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
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I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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