it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
