party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize