I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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