we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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