Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
