omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
