i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
