Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize