There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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