You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
