Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
