so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
