lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
