I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
