I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
