this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
