I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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