how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
