Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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