Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
is it fun? or sober?
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