I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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