just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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