...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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