wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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