she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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