if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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