you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize