i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
