Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
