He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
