Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
