Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize