you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
