...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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