We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
