I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
