I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
