Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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