Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize