Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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