Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
